Category Archive: How Would They Have Scored on the LSAT?

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What our Founding Fathers would Score on the LSAT

Just like new college students, the Founding Fathers rebelled against the repressive regimes under which they grew up. They lifted arms, you lifted beers. And when it was all said and done (and the Founding Fathers finished celebrating, which probably put you to shame), with what were they left? A hangover, a few papers to write (you, a PoliSci final, them, the Articles of Confederation), and a few people they had to avoid (though ducking Sarah in Psych 101 was probably less awkward than when Franklin had to duck David Hartley in Paris).

But founding a new nation wasn’t enough, and they all decided to go to law school why not? Let’s take a look at their LSAT scores:

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Saved by the Bell: the LSAT Adaptation

We’ll never understand how Screech, Zack, Lisa, and Mr. Belding all decided to simultaneously pick up from Indianapolis and move to Los Angeles. I mean, we understand why, just not how. That’s a whole lot of simultaneous moving, and we assume it shattered the Indianapolis public school system while simultaneously decreasing the city’s population by 32%.

However, we do know that they found a new home at Bayside in sunny California, and the rest is history.

We watched them grow up. We watched them laugh and love. Would Kelly and Zack get married? Would Screech and Lisa ever kiss? Would Jessie end up doing soft-core porn with Kyle Maclachlan?

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The Lost LSATs

Very recently, I was in one of the world’s most beautiful places (Kauai), when regrettably, I got really sick. As in ten days of not being able to get up and walk outside sick. As in I was stuck in a room staring at the walls like a POW sunrise to sunset. It sucked.

By the fourth day in this miserable (albeit well appointed) prison cell, I had read every book I’d brought, twice. I’d read the entire internet. I’d even acquiesced to reading the fairer sex’s tripartite news lifeline: People, Us, and Life & Style. (The last of these experiences was profoundly damaging, and looking back at it, I now believe that it exacerbated my illness).