A) During a mistrial, its usually a bad thing if you’re the cause of it. Above the Law.
B) Harvard, Shmarvard. Who needs a law degree when you have football. Charleston Daily Mail.
C) Attention terrorists: mess with America and get sent to Cuba. Wall Street Journal.
D) In Oregon, glaucoma and a concealed weapons permit aren’t exclusive. Associated Press.
E) Having money problems? Alcohol fixes everything. The Onion.