A) Don’t you hate getting text messages from spammers? Not as much as this person. Telegraph.
B) With Coachella tickets going for $1000, Craiglist poster has a good idea for getting in. Craigslist.
C) Taco Bell wants to set the record straight that it uses real beef. We want to set the record straight: we don’t care as long as it remains delicious. Above the Law.
D) No-talent ass clown who ruined a fantastic premise writes about how hard it is to be him. Loser. New York Times.
E) Girls Scouts cut back on the types of cookies they’ll sell. Thin Mints are safe. Yahoo News.