A) “If your consumption of caffeine would shock the conscious of Charlie Sheen, you may be in law school.” Law Riot.
B) As a defense attorney, you should, you know, defend people. Chicago Tribune.
C) You know things are bad when your only defense is, “The dog started it.” Crimesider.
D) “Honestly, I don’t even associate the words ‘FBI’ and ‘solving crimes’ in my mind, really.” The Onion.
E) Claws the pet lobster may have to go, but at least I have my 2nd amendment rights. Huffington Post.