How Would They Have Scored on the LSAT: Rio 2016 Edition

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Despite the fame of the Olympics, it’s important to recall its history as an amateur sport. Even today, the vast majority of Olympians can’t rely simply on their professional careers or their Wheaties endorsements to sustain their livelihood, much less to finance their training and competing.

And so, naturally, they turn to legal careers. And thus: to the LSAT. And, thus again, they turn to Blueprint. How did these stewards of American competitiveness fair out of the rink, out of the pool, hunched over tiny desks and career-determining Scantrons?

Katie Ledecky, to no one’s surprise, performed phenomenally. Coming off of a stellar Rio performance the nineteen year old scored a 172, making it look as easy as a 400 meter freestyle. She loved her Blueprint course, and decided to supplement it with a tutor, whom she insisted on calling “coach.” Nobody drilled harder, and it paid off when she missed not a single Reading Comprehension question.

It was never really fair. Simone Manuel was just a natural born LSAT taker from the moment she first handled a Scantron, and performed just above her practice-test average to pull a 179 on her exam. Simone was one of these despicable incredible people who just nailed Logic Games from the get go: She always knew how to organize her clowns and order her symphonies, etc. Literally did cartwheels around the competition. Notably, America’s sweetheart did make her first enemies after the LSAT – those unfortunates who had to try to measure up against the curve she set.

Aly Raisman pulled a strong score, a 169, on her LSATs, which, combined with her stellar undergraduate record (and a couple notable extracurricular accomplishments…) will likely lock her in for any and all of the T14 schools to which she applies. The gymnast struggled initially with Parallel Flaw questions (indicating that, despite what she does on the balance beam, she may in fact be mortal) but kept a notebook of each and every question she missed on practice exams and eventually mastered the art. Of course, throughout the entire test, her parents writhed in support and tortured anticipation.

Michael Phelps approached the test with lots of natural talent, but was hard to convince to sit at a desk taking practice exams. After his 163, friends and family encourage him to retake – a fine score, they acknowledged but not quite what he was capable of. As of last contact, Phelps had shrugged off such admonitions (a notable feat, given the weight of the gold hanging from his shoulders) and declared his intent to apply for the coming academic year.

And of course… Ryan Lochte. You really just gotta shake your head with this guy. I mean, vandalizing a bathroom in a foreign country and then lying about it? Just seems illogical! Doesn’t bode well for the LSAT. And unfortunately, despite hours of coaching, Lochte struggled to cross the 150 threshold. Particularly challenging for him were Implication Questions – you know, of the variety: “if I fabricate a story about a robbery but am on camera not being robbed then what will happen?” Lochte is currently mulling over a retake, but also just kinda wants to see what other colors look cool in his hair.

Your correspondents research (imagination) covered only American athletes (because Freedom). Anyone have any insight into how Usain Bolt fared on his exam?

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